You make some astute points, especially about the limitations of self-observation. So, keeping in mind the limitations of external advice, I offer my perspective to you.

One, we do not live in a culture that values introspection and self-growth. It IS very disheartening to see this reflected in some Wiccan groups, but I suspect this has more to do with the fact Wicca is a popular doorway to Paganism that tends to draw a lot of spiritual thrill-seekers due to its’ availability.

I am not decrying the validity of Wicca as a mystery path; however, many people in Wicca are content with its fertility emphasis (‘dance around the tree’) alone, and do not desire the rigours of seeking the mysteries. For it is work to develop one’s own spiritual path, and it’s not something that produces a clear cut end result. Rather, initiation is an ongoing process.

Another part is being a student of deeper mysteries can be very lonely. The people who undergo this journey don’t tend to be the obvious, flashy members of the Pagan community. Often, they are the dropouts who tire of the politics in group dynamics and power found in covens, as well as other groups of humans. I recall a fellow initiate years ago who was very distressed by the immaturity of fellow Wiccans; she had a great deal of difficulty reconciling the fact that even though a person is a pagan, they are still subject to human foibles.

But back to you. The final thing I would suggest is to consider the effect of religious development. You call your path Plutonian, and this is very apt in light of Pluto’s underworld qualities. At this time, there is not a lot of Pagan literature describing this; but if you critically examine the concept of the “dark night of the soul” you can find parallels.

There is no fairy wand to speed the individual’s pace on the mystery path. You must go through the process to come to your own understanding, keeping in mind that what you find to be true at one time can change down the road! You may find Judy Harrow’s books “Devoted To You: Honoring Deity in Wiccan Practice” and “Spiritual Mentoring”, or Mary K. Greer’s biography “Women of the Golden Dawn: Rebels and Priestesses: Maud Gonne, Moina Bergson Mathers, Annie Horniman, Florence Farr ” insightful for this process.

A few minutes after she calmed down, and while feeding, I took our daughter’s favorite rattle, shook it at the corners of her crib, and asked the spirits of the North, East, West and South to protect our house and daughter. She was quickly back asleep, and that was the only occurrence of this sort we’ve had. I performed substantially the same ritual when we moved to another house.

I have read Fate Magazine for decades, having picked up the habit from my grandmother and mother, and that was my first source for the Old Hag, which I believe this event to have been. I have searched occasionally, and have asked a couple of friends, who are best described as ritual magicians, and have heard no better explanation for this event.

As for claiming titles, I am a Seeker, and I identify as a Pagan and a Witch, yet my personal path is derived from LOTS of other paths as does my magical workings

I also wanted to say we miss you and Catnip Brew out here in Podioland. You have such a wonderful show and wonderful style of speaking that draws people in. One of the great benefits to all of our podcasts is that everyone has a different perspective about the Universe, Diety, and Magic, so I want to encourage you to come back and share your thoughts and journey with the podcasting community.

We miss you

Brightest Blessings and Journey ~

Could you recommend a book for learning and making sigils?