Following on from my last post, I promised to relay a particular event, or in this case, a person, who sparked my renewed practice around this time last year.
Why Aleister Crowley is everything I don’t want to be:
- He lost his father, whom he idolised, at a young age. He blamed his mother and rebelled as best he could from knocking up a housemaid at 14 years old to getting kicked out of Cambridge for contracting an STD. I want to face loss with strength and courage and learn to adapt as opposed to react.
- I want to treat all my romantic partners with respect, never regarding anyone as a means to a magical end.
- I want to master self-discipline and know when to keep it in my pants.
- I want to invest wisely and not buy a mansion in Scotland at 24 and die as a heroin-addict in a boarding house, dependent on the charity of dwindling followers.
- I want to treat my leadership roles with great responsibility and strive to ensure that none of my followers are dependent on me, or any romanticised delusions of me.
- I want to remain humble so I can always improve.
The truth is, some of our most powerful role models are those who teach us how not to be. Despite my evident disdain for his character, I like to compare myself to Aleister Crowley to remind myself of how easily one can slip into a magical life that stems from egoism and childishness. I often like to jest that while his Golden Dawn motto meant “I will endure” (Perdurabo), a somewhat harrowing prediction of his later life, mine ought to be, “I will succeed”.
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It’s good to see a balanced perspective on Crowley…too often do people idolize him without seeing the contradictions. I think he’s definitely a role model of sorts, though I’m heartened to see more focus going toward other occultists as well.
A very insightful post. Recently I had a conversation with my husband (who is not formally Pagan, but interested in what I am learning as I find my way along the path . . .) about this. II told him I had been reading about the not-so-savory aspects of modern Paganism, and he said he didn’t really understand why I would want to know about that side of it. Wish I’d had your post on Aleister Crowley in front of me as I tried to explain it to him–it says so much of what I feel. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Blessings,
Sabrina
With all due respect my friend, I couldn’t disagree more.